Behind Closed Doors

Death,

I think I saw him once, when I spoke against your orders.

And so I saw the twinkling of star, of heaven and of afterlife.

Happiness came to me in sleep and gave me lies,

She never felt your hands as they slap against my face,

Your fist, it hit my head

But how could she have understood?

“You're not good enough.”

Her hollow words.

Around my neck,

Across my back.

My anthem and

Your song.

But he was only an illusion, which you wiped quickly away.

Love, I thought I knew him once,

Envisioned him inside your eyes,

When I stood up to you,

You knocked me off my feet,

And laughed in mockery at my attempt,

At my failed defenses.

She's still strong by my side;

Secure and unyielding and yet

Against your words and violent fits

And so ill try another day

Until freedom comes for me.

But Hope,

A sturdy crutch,

As fragile dream,

She holds me up