Old Friends

Not for the first time
nor for the last
He sat alone
filling with remorse
He said to himself,
"Did I blow it?
Did i waste my life
in a frenzy of cocaine,
methamphetamines and Vicodin?"
He waited for an answer
but it never came

He sat with regret
like an old friend conversating
"Did I waste my love?
On the rushed
and damned affairs
dressed up in glitter and gold
Did I waste the chance
to catch a heart
because my hands were full
and excruciatingly empty
at the same time?"
An answer never came

Again, he sat alone
but not completely
Shame sat beside him
"Is this it?" he asked
The question as vague
as the solution
"Everything happens for a reason"
"You're only given what you can handle"
"You will find someone
who loves you for you"
he hears the lies
over and over
again and again
everyone lies
He even lies to himself,
"I deserve love"