Opium Poppy

2023 Barrett Winner

3rd Place Tatyanna Banks

I’ve got strings in my hands and a mask on my face like Covid 19
All this shit going on, gotta self-quarantine till I get it together
I’m spiraling out of control
I'm tethered to us,
tethered to love,
emotions like drugs
The hardest pill to swallow is I'm addicted
I need it, without you, I'm livid
reliving my worst decisions

I chose to stay,
chose to let you have me, let my mind decay
My plans, my dreams, my future, put them all on delay
because you make me feel free
My perception, you change what I see
Changed everything I know about me,
even though you don't give a damn about me
but baby, you’ve got just what I need
I’m stuck on you like junction
Without you, I cannot function
The root of my self destruction
caused by your seduction

You tend to me in the worst place of wonder like Stevie
I wonder if it’s something I’m blind to.
Pieces of me hop up out of my body by the hour like jackrabbits
Bad habits sprout by the second like weeds that grow right back after you snatch them out.
You drive me crazy then constantly reroute

Knocked out of my confusion, I realized I was still your marionette
Still atttached to your leash, I’m still your pet
To this day, when you say sit, I’m on the floor
When you say jump, I say how high
and when you say stay silent, bottle up my problems and lock them in the back of my head, I have a lock and key ready.

I started off slow and microdosing
I started off steady…then I saw his eyes
Stunning, white and glowing,
knowing he’s bad for my health, but I could care less
He eliminates my stress
I knew I wasn’t ready…but then I felt his hands
His hands touched me better than I touched myself
He started at my head, trailing his fingers down my body, stopping at my belly
Upon contact, his fingers drove me manic
His white noise turned my mind to static
I was left trembling like gelatin. Inside, I tried to panic
Outside, I was simply along for the ride
Common sense glides right out my mind
My sanity hangs by the thinnest thread
So reckless with the dosage, I contemplate how I’m not dead

Percocet, I feel your name doesn’t do you justice
I’d call you Divine because I feel heavenly with you within me.
You make me feel alive while you drain the life from me slowly
You’re no good for me, but with you, at least I’m never lonely